Aries (March 21 – April 19)
Aries, this week you may find yourself unusually attracted to vegetables. Embrace this new love for green produce, but don’t be surprised if you start dreaming about building a carrot-themed amusement park.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
Taurus, you will develop an unexpected talent for jugglers. Show off your new skills at social events, but beware of jealous spectators who might try to interrupt your performance by throwing a chainsaw at the circus act.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Gemini, you will be so convincing that you can convince people that doves are actually secret agents. Use this new power wisely and remember not to disturb too many birds.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Cancer, your natural empathy will be high. You will be so in tune with other people that you can tell when someone is sad just by the way they tie their shoelaces. Use this gift to comfort those in need, but don’t forget yourself.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
Leo, this week you will be so charismatic that you will attract a fan club of squirrels. Enjoy worshiping your furry followers, but be prepared to share your snacks with them.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
Virgo, your attention to detail will be so witty that you’ll spot a misspelling in a dictionary. You may be tempted to start your own dictionary, but be sure to check everything for errors.
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
Libra, you will have the talent to find balance in the most unexpected places. Don’t be surprised if you suddenly find yourself able to walk a tightrope or balance with a spoon on your nose for hours on end.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
Scorpio, this week your mystique will be so strong that people will start to wonder if you are a secret superhero. Embrace the mystique, but remember to keep your true identity a secret – after all, that’s what superheroes do.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
Sagittarius, your sense of adventure will lead you to explore new and exotic culinary delights. You may find yourself at the table with fried spiders or chocolate-covered grasshoppers, but be sure to leave room for dessert.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)
Capricorn, your determined behavior will be unstoppable. Whether it’s climbing a mountain or mastering the art of origami, you’ll be able to handle any challenge. Just remember to take breaks and celebrate your accomplishments.
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)
Aquarius, this week your creativity will reach new heights and you will be inspired by the invention of a whole new sport that combines skydiving and synchronized swimming. Although it may seem extreme, you will quickly gain a loyal following of adrenaline junkies.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
Pisces, your imagination will be so alive that you will start seeing unicorns and fairies in your daily life. Embrace this magical world, but beware of accidentally sprinkling glitter on your boss at a meeting.
To be continued…
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